Howdy everybody!

Im your spicysunchild, check out my profile if you like me add me! im here to meet new totally cool people.

I just had first day of summer school and it wasnt half bad, the teacher was to awesome and interesting. I think I am going to like this, though the people seem a little stiff, I hope they will loosen up.

Today I had a great today. After summer school (its sooo boring) I went to my friend annie's house after school. We played on the comp, laughed, watched dead poets society and she attempted to tame my crazy curls. I love being around my friends they always make me feel good about myself when I am around them. I know cheesy  She just reassured me that I would be some kind of privlige for a guy to go out with me (because im soo

hot NOT!). And she also inspires me to do as I please and never care what people may think of me. She is awesome, as are all my other friends, I love them all soo much it is hard to explain it. And one day I would really like to be able to repay them all, and tell them how much they all mean to me. Yes I know I am in an exceptionally good mood, but my life is going great at the moment and it's just so wonderful. I LOVE YOU GUYS THIIIIIISSSSSSSS MUCH!!

When was the last time you ...
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Smiled?: couple of minutes ago
Laughed?: couple of minutes ago
Cried?: a month ago
Were sarcastic?: today
Kissed someone?: never
Talked to an ex?: never
Watched your favorite movie?: a month ago 
Had a nightmare?: never

A Last time for everything...
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Last book you read: I Capture the Castle
Last movie you saw: Ray
Last song you heard: Super Stylin'
Last time you showered: last night
Last thing you ate: ice cream

Do You...
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Smoke?: nope
Do drugs?: thats a negative 
Have sex?: no
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no, they make the bed warmer and there really uncomfortable to sleep with
Live in the moment?: sometimes
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope, though i'd like one
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: nope
Play an instrument?: yuppers, tromboner! and guitarist!
Believe there is life on other planets?: yup, its
Remember your first love?: yah, he was my neighbour
Still love him/her?: nooooooo
Read the newspaper?: nah

Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yuppers
Believe in miracles?: no

Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes sir e! 
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: when im in a good mood
Consider love a mistake?: never!

Like the taste of alcohol?: oooooo yah!
Have a favorite candy?: snickers!
Believe in astrology?: yes, it holds some general truths about ppls personalities
Believe in magic?: As in witches and wizards...? yah
Believe in God?: yes
Pray?: no

Go to church?: no
Have any secrets?: yes, but not too many  
Have any pets: yup, his name is tweety (hes a canary btw)
Do well in school?: yah, when i try

Go to or plan to go to college?: most definatly

Have a major?: A major? Like as in subjects at school? i would like to major in architecture
Talk to strangers who instant message you?: yup
Wear hats?: no, i look terrible in hats
Have any piercings?: yah, just in my ears but i never wear earings, i wish i had a nose ring
Have any tattoos?: wish i did
Hate yourself?: regret more so than hate
Have an obsession? yes

Have a secret crush? yes
Do they know yet?: yes
Collect anything?: beanie babies, and weird little trinkets
Have a best friend?: its not so much best friends, its who i really trust so in that sense i have about three people who fill out that description
Wish on stars?: no, but i should
Like your handwriting?: when i write slowly
Have any bad habits?: yah, putting my foot in my mouth
Care about looks?: just my own
Boy/girlfriend's looks?: no, just as long as they are clean
Believe in witches? yah
Believe in Satan?: yah
Believe in ghosts?: yah (they scare me sooo much)

summer school is done and over with. im so fucking happy! im gonna miss everyone but i will seen them soon. it is one of those bitter sweet moments, i had so much fun with all those people. i really felt free and just myself around them, it was great. caitlyn, annie taz and me ended up walking around dowtown and we went to the courthouse to watch a trial. but there were none, there was only one and this dude kept on stayering at me and caitlyn. creepiest feeling ever! again i say by to all my friends at summer school and i really hope i can see everybody again soon! lets have a play date!

there is life after death and it is so sweet

yes sweet like a burning piece of coal being shoved in ur mouth

the coal is drenched in your piss,

in that piss it contains your lies

they broke me they did

you said we were friends

you said you hated him

you said that you were going to get out of that place

but you dragged urself through it and i had to wipe of the shit

when you came crying to me

i sat

i listend

i solved

but still you made the problem come back to you

you allowed him to hurt you

because you liked it

you like the pain in ur own perverted way

god i should just get you a whip

that has to be worst poem i have ever written, but it felt good.

tonight im goin rollerblading with my friend annie, i havent seen her in over a week and thats not normal cuz i used to see her everyday, and i miss her a lot.

omg this morning was brutal! i went running, and its been a very long time since i have been runnning outside cuz i usually run in my basement (yah its lame but its cold and safer for a clutz like myself). anyways, i wore my really old sports bra from when i was 12 and umm i've grown since then (im almost 16 now) it really was not a good idea. because i could only run for 10mins. the bra was like constricting my chest so i could not breath as well. so when i got home i could hardly breath, it was so painful. i know myself, and i can run for at least 10 mins after not running for a while and be okay, i will definatly be super tired but not have that much pain in my chest.the funny thing is im only doing this for track, and im a frigging jumper! i guess it was a good thing, cuz now i will throw it out god im such a pack rat!

This is what i did yesterday

I went to Annie's house around 3 ish and we hung out. We looked at all her totally cute baby pictures. Then Vanessa came over, and we headed over to the pool. It was CLOSED! Annie flipped out it was funny. But we saw the really hott lifegaurd! *drools* So we just walked back to Annie's, then to the waterpark/park thing near her house. This place is so awesoem, because they've got all the new playground stuff with tonnes of swings and omg its just awesome. So we played in the water park place, with all the cute little kids and Annie got soaked as usual. I just got the bottoms of my pants wet, i didnt wanna walk home soaked. After we just talked for a bit, and then they walked me home. Where we then decided to go to another park near my house, lol we are like park bums omg we could be the park punks (though we are all like uber preps). But first we called Jess to see if she wanted to come and hang with us, she did. So Annie, Vanessa and I made our way to the park (jess met us there later)and hung there talking and being idiots. There was some creepy guy stayering at us the whole time, like seriously man pay attention to ur kids not us! there was also some loner chick from our school there, like she just sat their on the swings swinging for about an hour by herself. i really felt bad for her, but she's kind of a bitch and i know she does have friends.the thing i didnt understand is why she took her headphones out, i guess she was just listening into out conversation or something. then vanessa and annie left and i walked over to jess's house. we caught up with eachother, and it was really great to hang out with her. i realised how much i missed one of my best friends :D then she told me some news, and i was totally dumfounded. i walked out of the room screamed "holy shit!". we ended up just talked the night away basically. lol i love all my friends i'll see yall on friday :D i still want a watergun fight man!

Taken From Tamika69's blog:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.



repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

i started work yesterday. all we're doing now is training and its super intense and boring. the chick talked to us for 2 hours and then we watched informational videos for another 2 hours after a 15 minute break. but i am so happy that that is over because tomorrow we start on hands on training finally! i really appreciate the job, thank you god!

today my mom's friends are comin over and yah shes acting all anal and controlling, even more than usual. today is going to be fun, if i can get through it without throwing her out the window! jks jks!

had my 16th bday party monday :D twas the illest. i had soooo much fun with everyone. i've got a tonne of chips, pop and candy left over does anyone want some? lol im going to have the most terrible teeth if i manage to eat it all. school starts next tuesday booo! i liked this summer, it passed by so flippinf fast. im taking: world history, physics, guitar and fashion design and then in second semester math, music, biology, and intro to anthropology, sociology and psycology. wow this year is going to be tough, but i like challenges so i hope it wont be too bad :D

so yah im totally bored. some lady swore aat me in arabic today, but unbenounced to her i speak arabic. being my passive self i just let it roll of my back. the lady had the nerve to smile at me while she was cursing me. she called me a "daughter of the dogs" its a very crude thing to say in the arab speaking world. oh well at least she didnt call me a whore then i think i would've said something. this job is definatly going to test my passiveness. being passive and extremely sensitive really isnt a good combo, for me anyways. i guess this is where im going to learn a lot of self respect , and maybe learn to stand up for myself once in a while. i have to admit im getting better at it, sort of. for example i ordered a pizza and it was wrong so i made the guy make another :D. looking back on this summer i've grown a lot, i've become moer comfortable with me and the way i am. hmm.. maybe i have changed more than i think. and the standing still while everything else is changing, really is indicative of a deep inner change. lol   wow that thought went deep. now i must go deep sea thinking by by for now (K)

right now i'm in a very pleasant mood. i have overcome my writer's block, and in the past few days wrote two poems which i am happy with for once. it feels good to be back at school, and have some sense of structure and normalcy though a lot has changed since last year. all in all i think this year will prove to be one of change, growth and a lot of fun and maybe even romance :D.

i feel like poo at the moment i've got a runny nose, headache and my body aches :( and i've gotta go to work.

oh well there are quite a few hotties at work, so i will just share shamelessly at them to make myself feel better :D

i hope i get over this, because being sick absolutly BLOWS! 

omg so me and my bestest of friends are best friends again and tonight is the school's x-mas concert.

yesterday my friend and i mc'd our schools variety show. we opened it with a very goofy dance that was so much fun to do. it was so hilarious, i cant believe i did it. everyone kind of bugs me about it now :P it was totally worth it!

tonight is this concert and im in 3 bands im so excited! i feel so at home with all my band nerd friends, that department is like a big competitive family. its so awesome. im am so happy school is almost over, and the break will begin. im going to Montreal! i love that place it's so romantic. i cant wait to go shopping there it will be great. all the people there are so stylish and stuff so they must have lovely places to shop. i wish i could take all my friends there but they probably would get bored, because id want to go to all the historical sites lol. yah im only 16, but i love everything old. there is so much mystery behind old places and things they all have their stories its so fascinating.

all in all im freakin' EXTATIC!

i am spending my long weekend alone, thinking about what i am going to do next.

am i still going to tell jake how i feel, or pursue him because at times i really do get the feeling he is just too polite to be an ass and let me get the picture. should i join student council again? because this year was hell,  but i dont like the feeling of not being involved. how much effort am i willling to put into my school work over my friends? who am i in the social standing, are my friends changing or am i changing my friends? am fake or just playing the game? who knows,but by the end of these 4 days im most certainly going to know. i hope. 

aaaaah i talked to you last night, your hilariousl i love it! and ice cream with u will be killa, if we get a sunset 2!

anyways so im runnign for student council prez ! my speech is tomorrow yaya!

i really wanna change shit around or shitty school it would be awesome to leave my mark on this school.

so yeah, ive got an outfit and such which was all from wal-mart

that place is surprisgly classy.

well thats aboot it right now, wish me luck!